JustJests

Cafe Philosopher: I had the weirdest dream last night, Hermen. Hermen: That doesn't surprise me. Your waking life is pretty weird too. Philosopher: As you know, I live alone, and in my dream, since I have no spouse, offspring or partner, I thought of getting a companion pet. But they leave hairs everywhere and need walks, so I got a companion ghost instead. Good plan! It was genderless and skeptical. "I doubt you really exist," it told me as moonlight spilled in through my uncurtained window. "Speaking ontologically," I told the ghost, "that's a pretty meaty philosophical proposition from a ghost." "Okay, on to logic then," said Ghost. "How rational would it be for me to assume you exist? You may be a mere figment of my ghostly imagination." "A mere figure on the mindscape ... yes. But I figure the answer's too elusive to grasp so late at night. Let's discuss it in the morning." "I'm not much of a morn...

-- I was tired. -- You're always tired -- like a cartoon cat that sleeps all day. Y ou do look a bit drawn. -- Because I'm tired. I've been busy. It's hard work being an influencer. -- Can dogs be influencers too? -- I hope not. -- How do you be one? -- By example. Haven't you seen my face on a thousand comic greeting cards? -- Of course. The face that launches a thousand quips on cards for Crazy Cat Ladies to buy for other Crazy Cat Ladies. -- Why not? I'm a Crazy Lady Cat. -- Yes. And I'm a Sane Gentleman Dog. -- I thought you were a guard dog. What do you see outside this window, watching all day? -- Tons of stuff you know nothing about, since you're usually asleep. -- I'm dreaming. I'm a Weekend Worrier. I have to work things out, and then share my wisdom with the world. -- You should start a mogcast. But you don't see what I see because I look out the window. -- And you see what? -- Well, did you know there are hens in that yard across t...