Dog and Cat, at Home

-- I was tired.

-- You're always tired -- like a cartoon cat that sleeps all day. You do look a bit drawn.

-- Because I'm tired. I've been busy. It's hard work being an influencer.

-- Can dogs be influencers too?

-- I hope not.

-- How do you be one?

-- By example. Haven't you seen my face on a thousand comic greeting cards?

-- Of course. The face that launches a thousand quips on cards for Crazy Cat Ladies to buy for other Crazy Cat Ladies.

-- Why not? I'm a Crazy Lady Cat.

-- Yes. And I'm a Sane Gentleman Dog.

-- I thought you were a guard dog. What do you see outside this window, watching all day?

-- Tons of stuff you know nothing about, since you're usually asleep.

-- I'm dreaming. I'm a Weekend Worrier. I have to work things out, and then share my wisdom with the world.

-- You should start a mogcast. But you don't see what I see because I look out the window.

-- And you see what?

-- Well, did you know there are hens in that yard across the road?

-- Yes. I hear them cluck.

-- Well, I see their colourful side feathers flashing in the sun while they cluck and peck. I'd love to get closer.

-- You'd cross the road to see the other side of a chicken!  You're spying on that big dog next door. Why's he standing like that?

-- He's doing a power pose.

-- What an idiot. A powerless pose works better, accompanied by a faint miaow, as if you're weak and starving -- so the humans feed you again.

-- You're manipulative.

-- Pawpulative, actually. Less is more, when you're the superior species.

-- That's what's called a "luxury belief". It's colonialist. BAD cat!

-- There are no bad cats. What is a luxury belief, anyway? 

-- A belief that "confers status on the upper class while inflicting costs on lower classes".

-- ??? ... That tires my brain, I think I'll take a nap.

-- With you, there's a nap for everything.

Yes. So take my picture for the Crazy Cat Ladies. Put it on a mog-mug, okay Dog? Thanks. Goodnight.