The Skeptical Ghost


Cafe Philosopher: I had the weirdest dream last night, Hermen.

Hermen: That doesn't surprise me. Your waking life is pretty weird too.

Philosopher: As you know, I live alone, and in my dream, since I have no spouse, offspring or partner, I thought of getting a companion pet. But they leave hairs everywhere and need walks, so I got a companion ghost instead.

Good plan!

It was genderless and skeptical. "I doubt you really exist," it told me as moonlight spilled in through my uncurtained window.

"Speaking ontologically," I told the ghost, "that's a pretty meaty philosophical proposition from a ghost."

"Okay, on to logic then," said Ghost. "How rational would it be for me to assume you exist? You may be a mere figment of my ghostly imagination."

"A mere figure on the mindscape ... yes. But I figure the answer's too elusive to grasp so late at night. Let's discuss it in the morning."

"I'm not much of a morning person, myself," said Ghost.

And I haven't seen it since.

Hermen: Well, Philosopher, you're used to the disappearing curve on the road to Thought. Did you watch cartoons as a kid? Maybe you were channelling Casper. Ask the Witch, she's the ghost expert. She's over there in the corner, drinking Sacred Pondweed Tea. Hey Madama Nocturna! What do you think of the philosopher's ghost-dream?

Witch: I do consort with shades and spirits -- I was friendly with Casper as a child, but he's been ghosting me lately. I don't know who Philosopher met in dreamland. 

Cafe customer:

I couldn't help overhearing, Philosopher. It sounds like your OCD, PTSD, and Bipolar Disorder are all competing for your attention-deficiency. Your subconscious is a battle-ground.

Philosopher:  That's impossible, I'm a Stoic philosopher -- we don't do battles.

Good. Then maybe put out some ghost food to lure the ghost back: secret thoughts that haunt your unconscious ... Ghost will intuit the tidbits. 


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