Summer Solstice at the Philosophy Cafe

 You know what day it is, Hermen?

No, Witch. Should I? Did Hesiod mention it? My job is all WORKS OF DAYS. Stoically, I never take a play day.

This one's the longest day. Sol's Day.

So who's Saul? Gloomy old desert scholar, was he?

No. Sol! The Sun! It's the summer solstice, when the sun's at its highest point of the year and the shadows at their shortest at noon, as Ovid put it.

Oh, Ovid. More sybaritic than stoic, that one.

Well, the shadows have to be at their shortest some time, you gloomy old git. It's fact. Truth.

Yeah? "Veritas"? Is it in your vino? 

The sun was certainly in the grapes.

Meaning what? Vino is vino, truth is illusion.

What do you mean, "meaning what"? You want epistemology?

Yes. IS there truth in wine?

You mean, in inebriation?

Fine, if we need five syllables where one would do.

Truth is in loquacity.

Oh great, another four.

Wine makes people talk, makes them loquacious. And they tend to reveal … truths. Or fictions. But, fiction is a way of telling the truth.

That's what I said. Truth is illusion.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

Hermen, there's a dark blob in my summer salad.  

-- No, you're just under the illusion one's in there. Anyway, dark matter makes up 27% of the universe. I don't see why you can't have one little blob of it in your salad. Just eat it.

-- I can't, it triggers my allegories.

-- Then order something similar, something synonymous.

-- You said the Health Department closed your kitchen because of ants. Can't even have a synonym roll. Just a dark slimy salad. 

--  No -- we baked some ant-onym rolls. Have that.

My date square's a blob too. 

-- It's not a blob … 

-- Well, you couldn't say its corners have 90-degree angles. I know geometry. That's no square -- it's a big fat blob.

-- It's being individualistic. Exhibiting body positivity. We don't do fat-shaming here, we're inclusive.

-- Do you think your business exhibits failure-positivity, Hermen? 

-- (sigh …) This really is the longest day, Ma.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *
Back to Chapter One? 
https://justjests.blogspot.com/2022/12/chapter-one-epictetus-was-street-corner.html

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