Waiting For Goodonuts

Hi, I'm your waiter, Hermen Eutics.                     

Would you like today's special?

Customer: Special what, Hermen?

Hermen: Special Dish of the Day.

Customer: No thanks, I'm just waiting.

H:    How many are you expecting?

C:    How many what?

H:    People in your party.

C:     I'm not waiting for anyone. I'm just waiting.

H:    (frown, pause) Oh. Well, me too, but then I'm the waiter. So: call me when you've decided eh?

C:    Decided what?

H:    What you're having. We have very good donuts.

C:    Having? I'll have to wait and see. 

H:    (sighs)  Right ... another philosopher ...

****************

(LATER)

Hermen: So, you're still here.

Customer: Yes.

Hermen:  So ... what are you doing?

Customer:  Just waiting.

H:    For what? Midnight? A text? A phone call? A bus? A new life? The end of your life?

C:    No, I'm just waiting to see what happens next, and escaping the need for events, answers, results, information ...  I'm waiting for things to unfold at their own pace. For answers to emerge. Birds to migrate. Dogs to pass by in the street. I'm like a cat on a fence in the sun ... waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for my nerves to calm. And everyone else's.

H:    Huh. Me -- waiting makes me tense.

C:    That's sad -- but just wait, it'll pass.

H:    No. Every morning I wake up and make things happen. I keep busy.

C:    Hmm. I wake up whenever and see what happens.

H:    Does anything happen?

C:    Sometimes. Sometimes nothing.

H:    What do you do then?

C:    About what?

H:    About nothing happening?

C:    I wait until something does.

H:    But what if it doesn't?

C:    Then that's what does. Let Karma take care of it.

H:    Oh, you're that kind ... Eastern, eh?

C:     That kind of what?

H:    Philosopher. Here at the Philosophy Cafe, everyone's a philosopher. (Which means everyone's broke, naturally, and doesn't leave a tip. Except Socratic tips on living the "good life", of course.) Though I'm guessing you're not a professional philosopher. 

C:    What is a professional philosopher?

H:    One with a PhD in Philosophy.

C:    No. 

H:    Never mind, you're perversely entertaining. So I'll give you one myself.

C:    One what?

H:    One PhD special: here, it stands for "Pretty Hot Dinner".

C:    Why, thank you. 

H:    You're welcome. You'll find it was worth waiting for.