JustJests

  You know what day it is, Hermen? No, Witch. Should I? Did Hesiod mention it? My job is all WORKS OF DAYS. Stoically, I never take a play day. This one 's the longest day. Sol's Day. So  w ho's Saul? Gloomy old desert scholar, was he? No. Sol! The Sun! It's the summer solstice, when the sun's at its highest point of the year and the shadows at their shortest at noon, as Ovid put it . Oh, Ovid. More sybaritic than stoic, that one. Well, t he shadows have to be at their shortest some time, you gloomy old git. It's fact.  Truth. Yeah? "Veritas"? Is it in your vino?  The sun was certainly in the grapes. Meaning what? Vino is vino, truth is illusion. What do you mean, "meaning what"? You want epistemology? Yes. IS there truth in wine? You mean, in inebriation? Fine, if we need five syllables where one would do. T ruth is in loquacity . Oh great, another four. Wine makes people talk, makes them loquacious. And they tend to reveal … truths. Or fict...

Hi, I'm your waiter, Hermen Eutics.                           Would you like today's special? Customer: Special what, Hermen? Hermen: Special Dish of the Day. Customer: No thanks, I'm just waiting. H:     How many are you expecting? C:     How many what? H:     People in your party. C:      I'm not waiting for anyone. I'm just waiting. H:      (frown, pause)  Oh. Well, me too, but then I'm the waiter. So: call me when you've decided eh? C:     Decided what? H:     What you're having. We have very good donuts. C:     Having? I'll have to wait and see.  H:     ( sighs )  Right ... another philosopher ... **************** ( LATER) Hermen: So, you're still here. Customer: Yes. Hermen:  So ... what are you doing? Customer:  Just waiting. H:     For what? Midnight? A text? A p...

Hey Hermen.    Hey Witch. Have you made a special Maple Medley tea for National Flag of Canada Day? Sorry Madama, you'll have to tell me the ingredients -- never heard of it. I can't, they're secret. Then how could brew it? I've never even heard of National Flag Day. Almost no one has. Typically Canadian eh? It's to commemorate the day the red and white maple leaf flag was first raised in Ottawa on February 15th, 1965. Good heavens -- lower it to half-mast then! That would be the properly apologetic Canadian thing to do, wouldn't it? You know what, Madama-Witch? I think I'll make my own Maple Leaf Flag Tea: Saskatoon berries, huckleberries, pond weed, horsetail, mashed acorns and a dollop of maple sugar, brewed slowly in snow melt. What do you think? Sounds just right for a Stoic Philosophers' Cafe -- we'll need virtue, moderation, wisdom and courage to drink that. See also: https://satiricalscene.blogspot.com/2022/04/who-were-calixa-lavallee-and-geo...

Old veterinarians never die -- unless they euthanize themselves. Old blind people never die, they don't see the point. Old funeral directors never die, they undertake to live forever. Old euphemisms never die, they don't even pass away, meet their maker, breathe their last or push up daisies. Old physiotherapists never die -- that would be a stretch. Old mathematicians never die -- count on that. Old statisticians never die -- at least it's not probable. Old golfers never die, they just lose their drive. Old hikers never die, they just seem over the hill. Old drummers never die, they just miss a beat. Old playwrights never die, they prefer a surprise non-ending. Old comedians never die, they just lose their eQUIPment. (Old jokes never die, they resurrect in new versions ...)

How many shy cartoon characters does it take to change a light bulb?      One, but you have to draw him out. How many car-haters does it take to hitch a ride?     All of them. L'autostop: Stop the auto, I want to get on! How many selves does it take to change genders?     Indeterminate. The changer, the changee, and a chorus of "allies" How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?      One,as long as his learned friend helps him. How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?      One, since he has a Bench to stand on. Why did the judge cross the road?      He has to see both sides. Why did the comedian cross the road?      To see what the judge was up to. Why did the chicken cross the road?      To get away from the bike lane. Why did the stutterer cross the road?     Because he c-c-could. Why did the trans activist cross the road?      T...

From the Tao Te Ching: "Recognize simplicity, reduce possessions, diminish desires." ... find inner peace And then there's "ataraxicat" (Ataraxia: tranquility). Such innate wisdom in animals. We should emulate them more. Is that why some people have "spirit animals"?  

Why did the bear limp in spring? He had a hibernated disc.  Relax, its' winter -- let your standards slip and your slippers stand. Here's a verse to read the kids: Slumber safely, animals, dreaming bees and crocodiles, The sun now up will soon go down, and night spread hush on field and town Nothing makes a season stay, 'Until next time' we always say, As Earth the Mother turns from Sun we bid adieu, one to one:           "Later 'gator”, and Antelope,           Manana Panda, we faithfully hope         And toodle-oo Kangaroo,         See ya soon, Arctic Loon        You're starting to nod,        Gastropod                                                               Bonne nu...